Celebrities have gotten into a strange habit of naming their children some very strange things. Whether it be Fire Vai, Moon Unit Zappa or Margarine Chandler (in some strange parallel universe where I am a celebrity parent). Whether for a child or pet bandicoot, I have to say that "Crash" is a plain stupid name. And this is a stupid kid's game.
Instead of ultra realistic graphics like Crysis and Stalker, Crash of the Titans has stupidly colourful worlds - from deserts to glaciers and toxic junkyards. Instead of realistic combat Crash of the Titans has stupid pretend kiddy combat - like Tom and Jerry. Instead of spouting blood your enemies shout out fourth wall breaking one liners when they are defeated. That's just stupid.
So stupid is Crash of the Titans that the cutscenes pay tribute to all manner of cartoon styles - from South Park to Dragon Ball Z - and do so without managing to look lame.
Also the game is a platformer. That's just stupid - I demand that the developers add iron sights!
The main gameplay feature is mind controlling lots of big mutants that you beat and taking control of their special abilities to solve puzzles and get through stages; something like a cross between Messiah, Mario and Nanobots. Although I got a bit lost at times the game was never super hard and the boss battles were all quite simple - even the final one.
In short, theologists, bus drivers, video game journalists, Dimmu Borgir fans and other equally jaded and cynical people will probably think this game is stupid.
The rest of us will realize that stupid kids' games don't have to worry about making everything totally cool and realistic and groundbreaking and therefore can focus on actually being fun. The only question now is "Why can't us adults have games that are pure and simple fun as well? How come kids get all the wacky fun games?"
Stupid kids.
(PS Play Psychonauts and Beyond Good & Evil)
